Get me there!  


Monday, 12th February

Woke up feeling a little groggy this morning after drinking last night and I couldn't help worrying about whether Matt made his flight. (turns out he did which made me feel like a complete lightweight.) Ignoring all the football and the sightseeing, this was one of the moments I had been waiting for the whole trip...the chance to eat anything and everything at breakfast. For a month now I had been trying to look after myself by eating salads and drinking water but now I could shovel every morcel of food into my drooling mouth. And I did (well at least tried) My eyes lit up as I entered the breakfast room and saw trays of sausages and eggs, muffins and pastries, fresh bread, juices of all nations, coffees and teas a plenty. I piled my plate high with all these goodies but as I started to tuck in I realised my stomach must have shrunk over the last month and I was starting to feel full. This then made it into a marathon struggle but as a matter of principle, I dilligently set about the task of demolishing the tower. I didn't even like the muffins but, sure enough, I popped 3 into my trap. I really shouldn't have eaten that much but, as I have mentioned elsewhere on the site, I feel that when I sign says, 'All you can eat' you have a duty to stuff your fat face until you are groaning with indigestion. I have never understood when people go to a Chinese all-u-can-eat place and have one plate of food. God damn it didn't you read the sign?! Grow up and get back out there, we need to eat enough to make this restaurant bankrupt! I think it is the idea of getting a bargain. If you pay £5 for the meal, you are sure as hell going to make sure you eat at least £15 to teach the b*stards a lesson. Suffice to say, I filled up and had to waddle uncomfortably back to my room.

I backed up my things and couldn't help feeling a little sad that the whole adventure was coming to an end. Luckily for me, Dustin had a day of school and we said we were going to meet up. I just figured we could go to a few shops and spend the rest of my money before he drops me off at the airport. So when I called Dustin, I was half expecting a nice, quiet day but then he tells me we should go to Disneyland! Hot dawg! I hadn't even thought of it!

I love Disney. I always thought how cool it would be to be an animator for them and I just love the escapism you get from the films. I have even got ideas for 2 films of my own that I think would be awesome for Disney but I have absolutely no idea where to start in contacting someone about them. I have the movies all planned out including who would do the voices, which artists you would have for the soundtrack, merchandise ideas - the whole package. I think this trip has taught me that anything is possible and so although it is a very long shot, I still hold onto the dream that one day one of my ideas could become reality. So if you are reading this and no anybody in the business, let them know.

The first story is about a young fish who thinks it would be funny to make a play on words with the the title of an already-established Disney movie. He then frantically searches the internet to find a photo of an obscure former LA Galaxy player whose name is a pun on said movie title. However, despite searching for AGES he finds no photo of the player and realises that the title fits in better with the fact that he was trying to search for the player.

I think Disney will love it.

Why the hell is there no photo of Mr. Gonzalez, you forgetful b*tch?

I couldn't quite believe it when we arrived at Disney to think I was there at all. I loved the whole experience and a huge thanks to Dustin who was in the know about the best rides and the tricks of the trade. Dustin used to work for Disney at the park and so I had once again struck gold as he knew the best places to go and how best to make use of our time. We went on the 'Star Tours' ride first andthen had a little wander around the park and to the original part. I love the history of it and it was great to see. I even got my picture taken outside the famous castle. We then got a fast pass to the Indiana jones ride and decided to walk around whilst we were waiting.

When you wish upon a star...

Walking around in a park full of thousands of people somehow we walked round the corner and who should be there butHaggis from the Riot Squad and Fredrik the guy from Sweden! Unbelievable! I guess I shouldn't have really been surprised given everything that happened during the rest of my trip but still! In the whole of Disney we bump into those guys. Awesome. We spent a bit of time together, went on the cool 'old train' ride and then headed back to the Indiana Jones ride. On the way we couldn't miss a few photo opportunities. Remember the Beckham Disney photo of recent times? Well, at Disney I also got the opportunity to be pictured aloft a mighty stallion.

After 5 days without a car, Kev finds an alternative means of transport

The Riot Squad lay seige to Castle Disney

(Haggis, Fredrik, Kev, Dustin)

Whilst on the Indiana Jones ride, Kev announces to his fellow passengers that he has just passed wind

As time got on and with my flight time approaching, we said farewell to Haggis and Fredrik and headed back for the car. However, I couldn't go without going and saying hi to one of my biggest heroes. Rumour had it that he was at the park on this particular day and after a lot of searching we managed to track him down. He does have a reputation as having something of a short temper but that didn't stop me going up to him and asking him for an autograph. What I didn't expect was for him to suddenly go off on one and then swing for me. Fortunately, Dustin was on hand to capture the scuffle and I am thinking of using this as evidence should I persue legal proceedings. Celebrities eh?

Crouching tigger, hidden weapon. The b*stard is at it again.

With my eye packed in ice, we hurriedly left the park. Dustin then very kindly dropped me off at the airport and I prepared for my flight home.

Wearing sun glasses to hide my black eye, I head off to the airport and back to the UK

My flight home was pretty good. With one final stroke of luck I was placed in a 5-seat row where I was the only passenger. I had already planned how I was going to sprawl across all the seats when some opportunist git moved from his seat and placed himself on the end. Then followed some Clint Eastwood style stand-off where we both eyed each other just waiting for the seatbelt sign to go off so we could stake our claim on the space. I thought I would offer to share half but then I thought, 'Sod it! He's not supposed to be sat here anyway. I'm taking it all!' And as soon as we were up in the sky and the seatbelt sign went off I shooted across the seats and increased comfort. I had a great sleep but wasn't as comfortable as I would have liked because I had to wait until he was asleep so I could go to the toilet.

Arriving back in the UK I quickly got on the phone to my friends and told them about everything that had happened. Getting onto the coach I still couldn't quite take it in that I was back home but any lingering thoughts of LA were soon extinguished as the rain started to lash down. Welcome home.






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